Dear Breakfast Club,
I trust you guys and C100 listeners to help me out with a delicate situation.
My wife is eight-months pregnant with our first child, and we're both looking forward to becoming parents.
One of our other pregnant friends was over at the house the other day, and she asked me what I was going to get my wife as a "push gift."
I've never heard of a "push gift," and she explained that it's something husbands give their wives to show appreciation for the pain they go through during childbirth.
She said her husband is getting her jewelry. But I have to admit, I think the idea of the "push gift" is B.S.
Do husbands really give gifts to their wives when they give birth? Do any men . . . or women . . . agree with me that the idea of a "push gift" is nonsense?
I'll be listening for your advice.
By the way, my wife and I are both big fans. In fact, she suggested that I send this email to you.
Jacob
19 comments:
I have had 3 children and I think the idea of a push gift is ridiculous and not necessary. The gift is the beautiful baby that you will hold when the pushing is over. I vote NO for push gifts !
A push gift? WTF?? I've never heard of it and think that it's totally ridiculous. The only thing I expect from my husband for giving birth to our son, is his support. Don't get me wrong...I went through hell giving birth to our son and I DO like receiving gifts. but to "pay me off" with a guilt gift?? No thanks. I just think this is a stupid fad.
But I'm sure the greeting cards company will pick up on this soon...if they already haven't.
Thats CRAZY!!... I don't even know what to think about a woman who would expect a gift for giving birth. That should never even enter her mind. All you need to do is be supportive, excited and let your wife know how much they both mean to you....OMG!!! really, I cant believe this woman, it makes me think she is a spoiled brat and very superficial.
Your instincts are correct, the "push-gift" is BS. I have two kids, and never heard of it,... from anybody! I suspect that your wife & her friends are setting you up.
I am a mother and while I think it is nice for a woman to be appreciated for the hard work she goes through during childbirth, the "push gift" seems a bit ridiculous. What next? This is another one of those idiotic ideas that someone thought up for their own benefit and for some reason it started to catch on (no doubt with other like-minded materialistic people). Talk about priorities being messed up!!
Sorry everyone- its true- Push gifts are "real". Ask any new mom these days- she will have heard about them and no doubt received her gift- jewellery seems to be the norm by the way!
I've been married 29 'awesome' years and my wife deserves many rewards, but I think a 'Push Gift" is pushing it a bit too far.
But society in general has many of these 'female' oriented celebrations / gifts. There's "Sweet 16" and think of the fortunes made from "Prom Dresses" and of course there is the expense of the "Engagement Ring" and the multiple family "Wedding Showers" and we know the entire day of the Wedding is dedicated to the bride. It usually progresses to the "Baby Shower" and multiple "Welcoming of the New Baby", etc. etc. Even the various wedding anniversary milestones are geared to woman - (go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_anniversary), which provides a list of appropriate gift for the anniversary year and let's not forget the traditional "Family Ring".
But alas our gift (the husbands) is to have enjoyed these many amazing years with such a wonderful companion. I know I certainly do!
Lawrence
I too am in my 8th month of pregnancy but for my 3rd child. After each of our first 2 children were born he surprised us with a vacation, I don't expect that type of gift this time around seeing as travelling with a group of 5 seems much more difficult then with a family of 4. Not to mention the extra expenses. Why not give your wife a little something. It doesn't have to be something expensive, but something to show her thanks for willingly going through all those painful months and even more painful hours of finally delivering that wonderful bundle of joy. Good Luck with your decsion and the new addition to your family.
Hi there,
I have never heard it called a "push gift", but there is such a thing as giving your wife a certain gift depending on what number child it is. Diamond earrings is the gift for after having your first child. I received mine the first Christmas after our child was born so she was 6 months old and he had them come from her. After our second child, I received a tanzinite ring. Tanzinite is the stone of motherhood now.
Though I think it is totally not needed as the ultimate gift is the baby/s, but there are some ideas for you/her if wanted.
Good luck and enjoy!!!
I have two beautiful children and after both of them were born my husband gave me beautiful flower arrangements from my favorite florist at Crabapple Cottage. It was his way of showing his appreciation for 9 months of carrying our baby and hours of labor. I thought it was a wonderful gift and so thoughtful of him.
I am a mother of a four year old and when I gave birth to my daughter my husband got us flowers which we dried and placed in her baby book! It was basically like a birthday gift for her. The whole push gift is huge BS to me, the best 'gift' you can get is lots of love and support. If a pregnant woman is expecting a push gift, then they are very selfish and materialistic. The best gift I got out of my pregnancy was a beautiful healthy little girl!
I never got anything as a "push it" gift. All I got was "i love you hun", and "you did great". I think a push it gift is BS too. To me, the husband shows that he loves her and appreciates everything that she does for him, and he helps out around the house after the baby is born, should all that he needs to give her.
I have to vote "NO" and agree that the thought of holding a child you created would be enough of a gift...OMnerves what next!!
Oh please!! Your pregnant friend is watching far too much reality TV.
I don't have children of my own, but I know from my sisters and friends who do, support is the greatest gift you can give her. Let her have a good nights rest and you get up with the baby too. Help with the meals, laundry and housework. Get involved and share in bathing the baby.
Love, support and respect is what everyone wants and deserves ... baby or no baby.
staI have never heard of a push gift. When we had our son I did not think or even expect to receive a gift from him. If you feel that maybe you would like to get her something, try some flowers to cheer up those dreary hospital rooms :)
Hmmm--a "push gift". I must say I am not surprised. It would appear to me from watching shows like Oprah, Dr. Phil, Suzy Orman, any reality shows and the like that younger generations are all looking for "more"--they need to have the best of everything--the best cars, homes, clothes, toys, etc. You do not need to be rewarded for giving birth--what you do need is to be a good parent. Love your child, teach them right from wrong and support them every day. And husbands, the best gift to give your wife is love, support and encouragement and to stand together as a loving family--raising a happy, healty child in today's crazy world.
i never heard of a "push" gift before. i have a 9yr old and a 2yr old. I didn't recieve anything but flowers and the baby would get a blanket, teddy bear or an outfit. it think its retarded to be looking for a gift. maybe its just the way i was raised by my parents...
God knows who started that, probably a retailer. I think your love and support and actually being there and helping your wife hands on after the birth of your child is the most important thing that you can give. There is no greater gift than a partner willing to chip in and help nurture and raise your child!
I have to question if a Mother-to-Be that expected a gift was really ready for motherhood.Being a mother is a gift in itself!as so many couples are unable to have children.
To the women that expect gifts,mature a little and be a good parent
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