Peter and Zach here. We feel for this guy but we're not sure what to tell him, Brandon sent us this email and, well, we're not sure what to say. Maybe you can help.
Dear Breakfast Club,
I know that when a couple moves in together, both people have to make some sacrifices. But I'm moving in with my girlfriend, and she wants me to get rid of practically all my stuff. I'm cool with finally ditching my "Scarface" poster, but she doesn't like my recliner, and I have a restored pinball machine that she wants me to sell. She said none of that stuff fits the "theme" of our new place, and having it would be "college-y." Should I get rid of all the stuff I love?
Thanks for the help,
Brandon
6 comments:
I don't think there is a straight answer for this, it is all about compromise, so that will depend on how flexible both of you are. I think most people would agree that it is more "common" that the woman of the relationship seems to take control of the decor of the home, most men do not take as much concern to it. But each of you should still have some reflection of yourselves in the home to make you feel like it is both of yours. My husband and I have been together 16 years. I am one of those women who VERY MUCH like to control the look of the entire house, HOWEVER, he is all about cars. He has a large collection of model cars, car posters,etc that mean a lot to him so we have always had a room in our house that was all his. To express his likes and style. we reno'd the rec room and showcased all of his belongings (well not ALL of them). I worked hard to let him set it up as he wanted but he used me from a decor stand point to help display stuff so it was in a tasteful and decorative manner to suit the room and the rest of the family. We are both very happy with the results. Do I like valve covers hanging on the wall? no.. but they are next to the big TV hanging on the wall and look like speakers so that's cool right? The room is definitely themed but still looks good.
i don't know if their home has enough room for him to claim one space for himself but that is what he should push for. both of them should be allowed to have stuff that is important to them.
Rae: Hi there! As long as if things go sour, and its time to divvy up the furniture whats hers is yours! Why not split the bill on a storage space? You might also need to consider that this woman is off her rocker... who wouldnt want a pinball machine?
i kid :)
Rae: Hi there! My thoughts, as long as if things go sour, and its time to divvy up the furniture whats hers is yours! Why not split a storage space? You might also need to consider that this woman is off her rocker. Who wouldnt want a pinball machine?
I kid :)
Sounds a bit scary already! Control, control. A relationship is about compromise and you are not starting out on a good foot!
Is she always unwilling to compromise?? If the objects are filthy and disgusting you shouldn't have to be told to ditch them. If they're just "not her style" she should compromise and go for an extra bedroom so you can put them in the spare room.
I'd recommend moving into a new place together versus moving into "her" place. Get a place that has a spare room for your "college-ey" stuff so that the feel of the new place suits both of you but that you still have your man cave! If you sell off all of your stuff the place isn't going to feel like home and you may resent her for doing it.
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