Here's an article from today's Chronicle Herald regarding a by-law complaint against a family in Clayton Park. Have a look and let's talk about it..
He’s fighting pirates off the coast of Somalia; she’s walking the plank on a cul-de-sac in Clayton Park.
At least one of Christine Dickinson’s neighbours on Trillium Terrace has complained to the city’s bylaw enforcement department about where Ms. Dickinson leaves her green cart and the length of the grass on her front lawn.
“They called and basically complained that my premises were unsightly," said Ms. Dickinson, whose husband, Chris, is the captain of HMCS Ville de Quebec.
The Halifaxbased frigate is protecting food shipments destined for Somalia.
“I’d move tomorrow if I could. Am I supposed to be run out of this neighbourhood because my yard is not maintained to the standards to which my neighbours think it should be?" Ms. Dickinson said, describing the neighbourhood as “snotty."
“Maybe I should start hanging my underwear across the front of the house and see what happens."
Ms. Dickinson describes her lawn as “a little uncared for, but the grass isn’t waist-high.
I refuse to spray my lawn illegally, so yeah, I have weeds . . . which makes me wonder about how their weed-free lawn is being maintained."
A bylaw officer left a note telling her there was no violation, but to keep the lawn maintained and remove the green cart from the bottom of the driveway.
“My green bin wasn’t illegally on city property. It was just at the bottom of my driveway. My driveway’s vertical. It was just a lot easier to access there."
Ms. Dickinson doesn’t know which neighbour dropped a dime on her.
“There are quite a few of them who are very well-off, they are retired, they have their landscaping company, their lawns are impeccable," she said. “But I know that they know that my husband’s in the military. . . . They know he’s gone all the time."
Cmdr. Chris Dickinson’s ship left Halifax in July for a six-month deployment, leaving his wife holding the, well, lawnmower. The front lawn is too steep for her 16-year-old son to mow, she said.
“It’s a hill with a retaining wall at the bottom," Ms. Dickinson said. The Quebec native is feeling overwhelmed with her husband at sea.
“I have no family. I’m all on my own. It’s not like he’s just off doing some little tour somewhere. He’s actually in the most dangerous shipping lanes in the world. I’ve got two teenagers. I work. I travel some for my work. I’m not very big. I do not have big muscles and I am just finding it really tough to try to maintain this big, huge house without really any help."
It was “insulting" for a neighbour to complain to the city, “as if I’m just being lazy," said Ms. Dickinson, who misses the family’s former neighbourhood in Dartmouth, where she said people lent a hand when her husband was deployed.
She’s called a landscaping company for an estimate on how much a fall cleanup would cost. But the French translator resents the potential expense.
“I work freelance, so cash flow is irregular, shall we say."
Coun. Debbie Hum (Rockingham- Wentworth) said she wished the city’s bylaw officers would be as diligent in addressing some of the more serious concerns in her district.
“I’ve got a few properties that are derelict, with garbage and household goods left (outside)," Ms. Hum said.
“It’s unfortunate that perhaps her neighbours aren’t speaking to her directly to just express their concer ns, rather than call the bylaw offices. Sometimes that’s all you need."
The city’s 10 bylaw officers are sometimes forced to deal with situations in which neighbours don’t communicate, said Tanya Phillips, manager of bylaw services.
“That’s, unfortunately, (one) of the things that we end up dealing with," Ms. Phillips said.
33 comments:
Here's an email we received after we chatted about the story on the air this morning.
Hey guys! I am just writing about the grass complaint story. I cannot believe that someone would go so low as to do something like that. As a woman with a husband in the military and just went through the same thing last year it is not easy. My husband is gone again now and has been since Sept 2nd and my grass in my backyard has not been cut either. The only reason my front lawn is done is because my neighbour was nice enough to do it for me. When you are a mom who is working 8-9 hours days yourself and you are left here to do EVERYTHING on your own the last thing you want to do is cut grass when you come home. I think some people should grow up and mind their own business and live thier own life. Anyway guys have a great day!
April
Unreal, don't her neighbours have better things to do. It is obvious that they (neighbours) need some hobbies. If I were the bylaw office, I'd be checking to see if they are using pesticides on their lawn. Because, as you know, we shouldn't be using pesticides.
I sympathize with the woman but I just have one question I would like to ask her; Did you buy the property sight unseen? The husband was in the military when they purchased this home but it doesn't seem like much thought was given to how much work would be needed to upkeep it in his absence. And NO, her neighbour, if it was a neighbour, should not have called bylaw. They should have done the decent thing and spoke to her. Maybe they are unaware of her circumstances.
Beverley
I recently moved to the HRM (three weeks ago). While looking for a home, I chose very definitely not to move to Clayton Park because I know of this type of thing happening there. Your neighbors choose not to really know you, but yet have opinions about everything you do. We are known in Nova Scotia for being the most friendly and hospitable place in Canada, but when I hear of this woman having a "neighbor" file a complaint (while not having the balls to admit to it) I wonder how friendly we really are. The other thing about Clayton Park that must be said, it that there is some really blown up opinion that it is an upscale area. It is a nice area, but anyone who lives there who feels there is a necessity to claim bylaws are being violated by someone who doesn't mow their lawn or has weeds, is someone who doesn't have a grip on who they really are or where they live. They need to get a life. You are not allowed to have a clothes-line in the area, because it apparently brings down the appearance of the area. So much for saving the environment or money. Well I guess I have to say, this kind of Self Elitism does not appeal to me in any way. I love my neighborhood. It is in Fall River.
Iam a single parent who works long hours. I cut my lawn. Why can't this woman and her 16 year old son manage to cut the grass.
It seems to me she is using her husband away with the military as an excuse or for sympathy. The time it took for someone from the Herald to go to her house take pics and write the story she could have been out mowing the lawn.
Pat
What ever happened to "helping out your neighbor"?
Her husband, with others is protecting us and keeping us safe...instead of complaining maybe try helping out the neighbor sometime. Wow...being helpful...
Christa
It blows me away how petty some people are. If they have that much time on their hands maybe they should mow her lawn. And who cares where her green bin is! It is on her driveway, her property and they should be thankful she is even using it.
I am a navy wife as well and my husband has been gone a lot. My house is only a bungalow but I am having a hard time keeping my lawn mowed while trying to keep my inside clean. Not to mention I work full time with 2 small children.
When your spouse is away all the time, especially on these long deployments you become a navy widow. Most other parents who are divorced share custody and they get a break from their children which gives them time to do these things. When you are a "widow", all the responsibilies are yours 24/7. It is not easy or fun!
I don't know what happened to "treat your neighbors like you would want to be treated". People should be more concerned in what they are doing then what others are not doing.
I wonder if the person who complained realized the can of worms he opened up. Get a life!
Janice
Hi,
Would it have been to much for one of her neighbours to give her a hand mowing her lawn, while they were doing their own? What ever happened to neighbours helping one another out. I live in Fairview, 3 years ago my husband suffered a heart attack and had a quintuple bypass. My neighbour's driveway is right beside mine and when it snows I am sometimes shoveling snow drifts that are pretty high for someone who is only 5 feet tall (short). There have been times when he and I are within 3 or 4 feet of on another and he doesn't offer to help. He knows my husband health history and that he shouldn't be shoveling anymore. If I had a snow blower I would be more than happy to help out some of my neighbours.
I also live in Clayton Park, and for the most part I believe it to be a very safe area. Which is what our issues should be about ... is out neighbour committing a serious crime and not that he/she is too busy to cut their lawn for a week or two (GO HELP THEM)!!
I live on a one way street, and when I first moved in, we had a moving truck bring my boyfriend's things from Quebec. So as you can imagine the street was blocked to traffic for maybe 45 minutes. One of my "NEW" neighbours didn't think enough to introduce himself or ask to help, instead he yelled at the movers (who were French, and spoke very little English) and then proceeded to called the cops. Who actually showed up!
I find it difficult to believe that people feel the need to treat each other like this, especially when they know nothing of the other's situation.
Sometimes I wonder if this is still the Maritimes where we are there for our neighbours...I feel that we as human beings should have compassion for each other...This women is on her own while her husband is serving our country..and this is how she is being treated.. I can see if there was garbage all over her lawn but the grass being too high? Crazy! I was a military spouse and had my husband away for months at a time and my neighbours in Eastern Passage would do things to help me out...ask if my lawn needed mowing or my driveway shoveled..I never forgot them and their kindness... It is hard to believe that you can go to "certain" areas in Halifax and find rude people like that, we are known for our kindness but I guess some people feel it is their "right" to stick their noses in where they don't belong...Ms. Dickinson if you move come to the Passage where a community is loving and supportive to each other... not hateful.
Here's another comment sent to our e-mail today...
Well, well. A Cmdr’s wife complaining of keeping the lawn . Cmdr= good money. They also get extra Sea pay. I am embarrassed for all the lower ranks that deal with life style when their partner is away with the Military. Shame on her.
She is working so money is coming in. Hire someone for goodness sake. My husband is on the Iroquois and has been gone since April 19th due back in 2 weeks. My daughter is being paid to do our lawn and the back yard is a steep difficult incline and I pay her.
OMG. No wonder her neighbors are not helping her. She is a typical…my husband is away, help me please……I am a Commander’s wife….I say , make a plan, hire if need be and go on with the day. I still can’t believe it. Shows how the higher rank you are the more you expect.
I think this is sad. Those neighbours should be lending a hand instead of complaining. We as a nation have to support our military as they give up some much to help this nation grow. Our military gives this nation a good names and this is how we repaid the men and women of our services. I for one would like to help this women in anyway I can. Our military families need just as much support as our military men and women.
If someone knows this Lady please give her my number 434-6165 and ask for Derril Knee
I have two thoughts:
- When your spouse is in the military, and you know he (or she) is going to be away for extended periods of time, why would you ever purchase a home you couldn’t maintain on your own???
- The Military Family Resource Centre (MFRC) has programs for military spouses to help them shovel, take care of yard maintenance, etc. If this woman was overwhelmed, why didn’t she just ask for help???
I can't believe they would nit pick her about grass! Unbelievable! I'm very thankful I live on the Eastern Shore! I know all of my neighbours, (Which are all incredible people) and we all do things for each other. When I first moved there, we had a snow storm, of course the plow would come and block the end of your driveway which felt like shovelling boulders. A neighbour saw me out there having a hard time, and came out with his shovel to help. That is what being a good neighbour is about!! I am a single Mother of a 3 year old who works full time. Yes it's hard, and yes I'm tired a lot, but things always get done, whether it be my lawn or the snow in my driveway! They may not get done right away, but they still get done! I'm not saying that her neighbour is right to 'tattle' on her, but a little help goes a long way!
Two teenagers, a husband probably making $150,000 per year and a career that allows her to travel frequently. You are a selfish person insulting every person who ever fought in the military by using your husbands current roll as an excuse for your situation. Using a lawn company does not equate to using dangerous chemical. Or here's an idea, mow it yourself. No penis required! There are families struggling on a quarter of your income with spouses around the world with our military who would have too much pride to draw attention to themselves as you have. You are not the hero here lady. Get over yourself.
Sorry, no sympathy here. The woman has a teenage son, and has several thousand dollars deposited in her bank account on the 1st and 15th of every month. She can afford to pay someone to mow her lawn. No doubt she and her husband chose that neighbourhood because it was nice and well maintained, so why does she think she can move in and not show the same care for her property the neighbours do.
We are not talking a single, working mother getting by on a limited income. As someone whose entire family is in the military, some of whom are on the ground in far more dangerous circumstances in Afghanistan than Cdr Dickinson, I have zero sympathy. Military wives with far less money and resources manage to get by without making excuses right across this country, what makes Christine any different?
And let there be no doubt, her choice to go to the media will cause her husband significant embarassment. I was engaged to a Commander. In a million years, I would never have dreamed of doing anything to cause him this kind of negative attention knowing that it would have ramifications for him.
HI there....to whoever complained about Christine's grass: if you have that much spare time, that you can put in a complaint, why not offer to FIX it for her, that way it will be to YOUR SATISFACTION. And, if you still have time to spare, come on over, I have a large house, 4 kids and work full time.........
shame on you
from: glad to be living rurally!
I wrote a note this morning after hearing this story on your station. I just moved to Fall River three weeks ago. After reading this story in the newspaper and reading more comments here and on the paper's website, this situation has gone way beyond the self appointed Clayton Park standards council. In various comments I read that this woman should be ashamed of herself, should stop whining, should be able to afford a landscaper, should get a better job. Who do you people think you are? Many of us have obviously forgotten the basics we learned as children about respecting our neighbours and community in general. I have many times over the years been surprised and even hurt by the judgement inflicted upon me by people who don't know me. Mostly surprised because complete strangers may think as they wish as long as they don't interfer in my life as has happened here. I guess we live in a world of act first and think later. Whatever happened to "judge not lest ye be judged" or "do unto others as you would have done to you"? I am not preaching here, but these two statements are generally how I try to live my life. Unless I am living someone else's life, I have no right to have an opinion of it. Many of these comments are hateful and out of line. People should try to put themselves in someone else's shoes for real and see how easy it really might not be. I am not a military spouse, but I respect all those who are. Their spouse is away on dangerous missions, long missions, and they are left behind to take care of evrything on their own. To the other military wives out there who deemed themselves deserving of the right to condemn this woman based on their own experience, rather than judge, maybe offer some advice or support. And regardless of your thoughts, Clayton Park residents hold themselves above anyone else who dares to tread through their streets. This is not a secret in the city. I knew it long before I moved here.
First let me express that I have only respect and admiration for those who serve in the Canadian Military and this includes their families as they too also serve. I speak from experience as a military spouse. Agreed that the neighbours went about it in the wrong way, but who is comfortable approaching anyone today with a complaint? Regardless, this family probably chose the area in part because of the atmosphere, nice houses, groomed lawns, etc. Did they not notice the sloped lawn? Did the sailor not know that he would sail? Experience & commonsense dictate that these things are taken into account. We are not owed a free lunch because our military partners are away. I take extreme pride in knowing that I can maintain our lives and property in similar fashion as when he is away. I too, work full-time, have children, animals; and medical issues myself, and, when he deploys, I strap on my nonmilitary issue SET and deal with issues at hand. Military spouses must learn quickly to be self-sufficient. My husband deploys with a calm mind knowing that the “homefront” is being looked after and that allows him to concentrate on the mission at hand. I don’t rely on neighbours; they have their own issues to contend with and I am not their responsibility. Military spouses have to be strong and self reliant, we have no choice. It’s time for her to find her invisible uniform, strap on a set and suck it up like the rest of us. You are a military spouse, CAN’T is NOT in our dictionary.
I married into the military...my husband spent alot of time away having an affair with one of his crewmates while i was at home mowing the lawn & caring for our 3 year old..I have been a single parent for 17 years now & i still work 5 days & 3 nights a week & still take care of my lawn..i took pride into how my property looked,when my child became a teenager it was a bonus to have help.
Oh Come on!! Her husband has been in the military for a number of years. Therefore they should have planned accordingly for the upkeep of their lawn when he is gone on deployment. The fact that her 16 year old son can't take care of the lawn and the removal of the green bin is a mystery to me. They must have quite a steep slope on their lawn.
Her neighbours may not wish to help her out because of her son. If I saw that she had a 16 Year old son I wouldn't offer to cut her lawn, her son should do it.
They moved into the house and accepted the by-laws with it. Deal with it. I wouldn't blame her neighbours. Everyone wants to blame someone else for their short-comings. It's your lawn, take some responsibility
Hello,
I feel sorry for the family and if the neigbours are busy bodies maybe they should get some blinds or better than that they could help out the neighbour.
Nova Scotia is supposed to be a friendly place but I guess not.
Take time and say hello to your neighbour for money doesn't mean anything when your sick and need help.
Hello,
At first when I heard this story I thought.. my god what kind of neighbours do you have? My husband works in iol feild stuff, so he is gone for a month at a time. I have a 2 year old, and i work full time 5 days a week, so I can never find time to mow my own lawn. Thankfully I have good neighbours who actually do it for me. In the winter they even shouvel my driveway :) If I didn't have such good neighbours I would have to pay someone to do it. Let me just say that between us.. we do not make the same kind of money that a Cdr in the military makes! Hello a teenager in the house.. why can they not help. I think tht it is unfortunate that the neighbours felt the need to go to by law enforcement, instead of coming to her. But lets face it.. there are lots of people who have to deal with the same kinds of problems
I am a military wife. My husband came back last fall on the same trip that this commander is on now. I work, and have two kids under the age of 14 that have responsiblities, and they are also into sports. My weeks are busy along with my weekends but I organize my family times so that all chores get done, mind you I have to light a fire under my son's butt to get him off the computer but all chores get done. Maybe this woman need a fire put under her butt too along with her son. get organized!! Her neighbours don't need to do her chores for her family.
I would be so embarassed for my husband to have such a article in the paper about our family.
The time & energy it took for that unneighbourly individual to report the unsightly lawn could certainly have been put to better use by being neighbourly and giving a helping hand.....however perhaps that unneighbourly individual is frustrated by seeing the 16-year son expending their energy in selfish pursuits rather than helping with household chores. There are two sides to every story - we've only heard one side so I'm hesitant to pass judgement too quickly!
I’m sorry but it is ridiculous that this made the newspaper and the radio (and a follow up on the radio today). I have no sympathy for this woman. There are many single parents out there (not making a captain’s salary) who have no trouble maintaining their property, not to mention seniors and those living with disabilities. No one is disputing her husband has a very important job, however it’s a job that also pays very well. It’s simple, put your green bin away like the rest of us, and cut your grass, they can afford to have someone mow it if they don’t get their 16 year son involved in helping out while his father is away. It’s her responsibility to care for her home, not the neighbours, since she is financially able to care for her home if she can’t do it herself. Also, like others have pointed out, they knew when they purchased the house that her husband would be away for lengthy periods of time, so why would you buy a house that you weren’t able to maintain in his absence… that’s irresponsible. What does she plan on doing during the winter? From the tone of her comments in the Herald it doesn't leave much to sympathize over, and bringing the media to her place speaks volumes on her character - someone who wants something for nothing.
Okay, this is ridiculous. It is NOBOBY's BUSINESS whether this woman mows her lawn or not! She and her husband pay for this property, she and her husband pay the taxes on this property, not the neighbors. She is not violating any bylaws. Just because a snotty neighbor doesn't think her lawn is up their standards....too bad. This woman does not have to justify anything to anybody. Get a life!
U N B E L I E V A B L E
Rather than comment directly on the issue of the original story, I would like to comment on a thread that continually appears in the posted comments from others: teenagers and doing work. I am very concerned about the young teen generation. Very concerned. They are raised to expected compensation (money, items or privileges) for every single action. What happened to contributing to the family as a member of said family? The North American culture is crippling the emotional and compassionate development of children by inundating them with 'stuff', 'rewards' and unmerited praise. And on top of the outpouring of 'money for nothing' these youth are not being taught the boundaries of respect for elders, teachers and any adult authority figure. There has to be balance in raising children. Too much of anything is too much. Our 12 year was cutting a neighbour's lawn because they wanted to teach a point to their older teen who wouldn't. And even though he was being paid, we had to HOUND our son to live up to that one committment!!! The harder we try to regulate computer time, time with friends, tv time...the more we are resented because their 13 year old friends are running the roads at 9 or 10 o'clock at night. We also own a business and it is frustrating to teach these kids that at the shop they need to be professional even though, we actually field requests from other youth who want to volunteer their time. Yet our own kids don't appreciate the opportunity. I refuse to reward bad behaviour and that causes friction, but giving in is NOT AN OPTION (though it would be alot easier!). We want to raise productive, contributive members of society not LEECHES!!!
My god, I wouldn't want my husband to be on a ship bound for never-never land, have two teen-agers, work full-time, up-keep a huge house, and live far away from home where friends and family hear from you only from a telephone. Then, when the world is tickity-boo, I fall, god forbid, and break a limb. What would the neighbors think then. It would look pretty silly of me mowing the grass with crutches. The point I'm trying to make is that Maritimers used to be the giving and neighborly land, what happened to lending a hand to your neighbor when in need? We see our soldiers combating over-seas when there are little wars left at home that are NONSENSE. Girl, if I'm passing through your neighborhood and I have a minute, I'll lend you a helping hand. There are still some good people in the world. Don't forget, the love of money is the root of all evil. Uptown or downtown, people need to pay attention to the things that matter the most. What ever happened to love thy neighbor? Not call the authorities and complain!
Good luck to you and your family, and God Bless your husband!!
There are many single parents out there who choose to own a home and maintain the home in a decent manner. I'm sorry, but in today's world of the woman being independent and such, this is not showing the true strength. She does have boys who are also old enough to pull the green cart up the hill, teach them responsibility. This article maddens me.
What a whiner!!! 16 Year old son and can't mow the lawn. Hey kid get off the computer and help Mom out. And your husband is an officer if you can't hire someone if the kid won't help move to the country. Living where you live money can't be too much of a problem.
If everyone can't just get along then they should just stick to their own lawns:)
Why is a Bi-law officer spending time pushing their views? no law was broken! save the ink and paper and should go fly a kite.
Long grass short grass people that complained should have to kiss that ladies ass:)
Long grass short grass people that complained should be made to kiss her ass:)
A bin here, a bin there bi-law officers shouldn't have a care!
If it were me, I'd make them see the grass grow taller then their knees.
I'd put the bin in the middle of the lawn and ask Peter Harrison to play them a song :<)
Post a Comment