Dear Breakfast Club,
I need some advice from C100 listeners.
My parents got divorced eight years ago, and my dad has dated a few different women since then.
--He's 48, and a successful business-owner, so unfortunately he attracts a lot of gold diggers.
--And now he's dating a woman who's only 31 . . . JUST 7 YEARS OLD THAN ME. They've been dating for the past six months, and my Dad says he's thinking of getting remarried.
--I think it's kind of gross that he's dating a woman so much younger than he is, but I also think she's only after his money. She's nice enough to me and my family, but I'm just not comfortable with it.
--Is it disgusting that my dad is dating a woman 7 years older than his daughter?
--Is my dad's girlfriend only after his money? Should I try to convince my dad not to marry her?
(name withheld by request)
6 comments:
love does not ask for an id card..... as long as he is happy it is all that should matter...
I am 38 - my boyfriend of the past 8 years is 53. There is a 15 year age difference between us....and it hasn't impacted our relationship in a negative way. We do notice differences, say, in our taste in music for example, but that only gives us both a chance to experience things we may not otherwise. Tell theat daughter to stop whining and be happy her father has managed to find someone who cares about him!
I love the comment posted my "mirmaid"...."love does not ask for an ID card"...I am involved with a man 24 years my senior. We have been together 3 years now and both left unhappy marriages to be together. In fact, he was a teacher of mine in elementary school and re-connected, innocently, on Facebook 3 years ago. Over the course of time, we discovered we were both in the same place in our marriages, both unhappy and never thought before that we had a choice. We fell in love and the rest is history.
I have heard many adjectives to describe our relationship which have been extremely hurtful. All I can say to them is that until you have "walked a mile in our shoes", no one has a right to judge. We are extremely happy. I do appreciate the reality of our situation and what he being older than me will entail. Bottom line is, I would rather have 20 years of extreme happiness and love in my life than to have never experienced true love at all. My son, who is 15, adores him and tells me often that he is glad I am happy and how important it is for me to be happy. My partner's daughters however are not as accepting. His oldest daughter is only 2 years younger than me. It hurts him very much that their relationship has changed...I wish they could just be happy that their dad is happy.
I understand exactly where you are coming from. My father found himself single a number of years ago and was dating again. One woman he was interested in was 5 years older than me and she did not have any children yet. I had to have a long talk with my father to explain my feelings on the matter. I told him that I was uncomfortable with their relationship on many different levels and that I would find it difficult if not impossible to respect the lady as a parent or even his spouse. Fortunately it was early in the relationship and it didn't go anywhere. Regardless of the fact that love does not ask for an id card, you are a significant part of his family and you well within your rights to be concerned for his future and happiness. You need to have a good talk with him, be honest with him and remember, ultimately you do want him to be happy (regardless of who it is with).
Hi Nicolle here. MY dad is married to a woman just 2 years older than me. Plus, she has children very close in age to ours.
The reality is this: my dad is not rich, but is comfortable enough. He has the money and time to shower upon his new family.
I could be bitter and 'weird-ed out', but what do I care? He's an adult and if it didn't work out (it's been several years already), then so what. He's no fool and knew there was a gap in age and such.
As far as his money. It's his. I have NEVER looked at my parents finances as having anything to do with me. Though, I am surprised how protective people are over what they perceive to be their future financial birthright: inheritance.
If my dad is happy, that's all that matters to me.
Many of my friends are in relationships with men that are between 10-15 years of age.
The reason many younger women go with older men is because many younger men are immature.
My husband and I have 10 years age difference (I am only 10 years older than his oldest son).
Don't look at the age but better yet, look at the person and the positive it brings to both your father and perhaps for you as well.
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